Cheap Thrills!

So last night was really romantic! We had pizza and wine at the park in front of Kg Tunku. The weather was good and we even managed to see some fire works...i think i drank like 90% of the bottle...had to lay off my antibiotics last night, so am a dose off...oh well!

i was quite upset last night cos H told me that he had not thought to get a card for me...i was so crushed...after i made him a card, he could atleast have pulled out some weeds from his garden for me! i had never before experienced a valentines without a card. it's the kind of thing that would create a hush in a noisy room, what?!!! a cardless valentines!!!

So he let me merajuk while waiting for him to get the pizza and then on the drive to the park before revealing that he had tricked me. i guess this is payback for all the times i prank called him! i had a really nice time...i didn't even mind it when my hair caught fire. That's what happens when u try to look scary using a candle in place of a torch light!

today, i was chatting with somene who told me that she got a card for her fiancee but he had not given her anything. She says that she is used to it. Apparently she bought him a holiday for their anniversary but he totally forgot to even wish her. She says that they don't really believe in celebrating Valentines...i hope that is true...

On a different note...Home is a Mum-free zone! Muahaha...time to make some mess! Dad has already started by leaving a toilet roll in the hall. I do not however support this type of behaviour. Leaving a plastic bag or a laptop...stuff like that is acceptable...keep toilet rolls in the toilet!

My mother can be really fussy when it comes to our home. She does not like me leaving my work stuff out in the hall. I find this really annoying. Afterall she used to make us pack our bags and leave it in the hall throughout our schooling days. It is too ingrained to change it now! And besides, who is going to come and inspect the house overnight? and if they find a bag, so what? It's not a showroom! One day she went as far as to throw my bag and laptop outside the house. I snapped and it wasn't pretty...

So, one day, when i found somethings belonging to my mother in the dining room, i could not help myself. Needless to say, she wasn't too amused!

Mutants!

Today has been a really lazy day. Things are for some reason really slow and everyone is still in the CNY mood, so in a way it's good because i have more time to do whatever i like...writing and gossipping!

We had a 2 hour lunch at this new place in Jaya 33. The food was ok but it was our waiter that really stood out. He had a specific place for everything and refused to place our cups etc anywhere else on the table eventhough there was ample space. He kept jamming stuff in between our plates and bowls so much so that we had to scurry about moving things out of the way for him, so that the things could fit in the spaces he had determined. I think he must be cinderella’s step brother!

After lunch, we headed back for another 2 hour gossip session…

There are really some weirdos in this world. There should be a reality show about interns! There was an intern who would talk to herself. Apparently my colleague was standing at the photocopy machine when this intern, let's call her Liz came to stand beside her (M) and said "i need to photocopy". So M said "ok, just give me a few minutes, i'll be done". Then Liz says "front and back, front and back" wihtout even looking at M. Liz is talking to herself. This however is a mild example of this freaky behaviour. It seems she also likes to sing to herself, old Chinese opera songs and one night when everyone was resting, one of them woke up to find her standing at the bedroom door holding up a kitchen knife. She was talking to herself.



Then there was another intern, lets call her T. She was given a duty of ordering pizza for lunch for everyone by A. A advised her to ask the crew what they wanted, but if they were too busy, to just get something that would be safe and everyone would be able to eat. the intern ordered vegetarian pizza! The next day A went to see our boss and he told her to take a bottle of coke with her because there were so many balance from her shoot. A was shocked to find that T had ordered 20 big bottles of coke to go with the vege pizza!



Then there is our resident flasher-intern. M said that she likes to show off her g-strings, but when i went downstairs just now to take pics of some bananas, i only managed to see her crack!



So, here are the biggest bananas i have ever seen...mutant-bananas! i feel like eating kuih kodok now!

just when i thought my week could not start on a lower note...i get into the office and have this sudden urge to push my editor off the balcony! he is such a pain in the ass! i am so happy that he is leaving...just because someone is good at something it doesn't give him the right to treat other people the way he does...once he is gone we will not be subjected to his rudeness...his 'you are at the mercy of my mood swings' attitude...i think i need to mark it on my calendar...and we will all go out for drinks (not him of course) to celebrate the departure of the most PMS-infested individual to ever hit this office!

and now...oh look...my phone is ringing...it's her!!! now, how do you tell someone who thinks that she is a really great presenter...that she actually isn't...when she calls to say she
has bought something for you (this would be the second time BTW) and is eagerly awaiting the next job...and basically the clients are not thrilled by her performance at all...arrgghhh! i wish she would not buy me stuff...i feel like she is trying to bribe me...ofcourse it is totally not going to work...but i just don't like it...it's not like we are friends or anything...

i think the worst thing that anyone can say to someone who has feelings for them is 'i really want to see you but i'm too lazy to come'...too lazy? why? do u have to climb over a mountain? or is it roughly about a 3minute drive away!

and then my poor meatball was nothing but....uh...

I think my brain is really turning to mush...in the space of 2 days i have embarrased myself thrice! i managed to call the wrong person demanding that she send me some document that she had never ever heard of, then after the embarrassing discovery of the faux pas,within 5 minutes, i managed to sms the same person for the same document...that was yesterday...today, after dialling a number, i suddenly forgot who it was that i had called...and then she answered! and i still could not remember...

it's a really scary thought that this is me at 26...i'm going to be a real gonner at 60! just from observing my mother, i can pretty much gauge how it will start...the first sign would be mixing up household appliances i.e. "Keep your shoes away...you don't see mine lying around...when i get home i immediately put them into the fridge!...uh...uh...cupboard"...another sign is the gradual loss of common sense...which most of the time happens when it is in any way related to my golden brother who dropped from heaven...when he is sleeping, not a creature should stir, not even if it is to help dad get a towle...scratch that...ESPECIALLY if it is to help dad in any way.In the event that a single ray of light from an errant bulb should fall open his sleeping toe, she would be quick to reprimand "You are so inconsiderate! you have woken your brother up!" - in not too quiet a voice that would eventually wake sleeping brother up...

yesterday i was minding my own business, brushing my own teeth (as opposed to grampy's) in the bathroom when the door was suddenly pried off its hinges by mother who wanted me to answer the phone. It was dad. Through a mouthful of toothpaste i managed to communicate with her that the timing was just not to my convenience and that if she could take a message, that would really be appreciated. She however took this rather personally asthough i were asking her to be my personal secretary! "i don't know what your father wants!!!"and she went off into a tirade before geting back to the phone which my father had long abandoned...

and if my father is any indication of how annoying a person can become with old age...well that is scary too...i actually had to bribe him RM20 to get him to keep quiet until we reached the restaurant! Today as i was leaving the house he called out to me to show me his latest idea to annoy mother. Beaming with pride he showed me the love note he had attached to the measley allowance he had left for her...guaranteed to get atleast a grunt before finding its way to the rubbish bin...parents!

charity begins when people are looking!

as i sit and stare at a young couple shovelling food down their throats with twinkling eyes betraying a romance that seems fueled by their mutual passion for food, i think back on the days when eating in front of a date was a taboo. Excuses like, 'oh, i've eaten already', 'i'll just have a drink' and the like were uttered over the ferocious growl of a stomach crying out in hunger, fighting back the urge to order not only the properity set meal with a dessert but with a tongue itching to enquire as to the existence of a huge set...ah the days when weight did not cling are long gone!

my thoughts are interrupted by the appearance of a skinny man who has just limped up to my table. it seems he had not much luck with the other patrons and thought he would intrude on my special moment with myself to ask for some charity. now, whilst i do believe in helping the less fortunate, most of the time i do not, simply because many a time i have had occasion to doubt the dire state that they are in. but today, this beggar had actually caught me in a moment of for lack of a better way of putting it...pure boredom, and so i proceeded to go through his file with the greedy suspicion of a teacher inspecting her student's assignment for any sign of plagiarism. The file; that people asking for donations normally flash at potential doners, at the speed of light, held pages of gramatically and logically challenged paragraphs on the worthiness of his plight. after taking up approximately 10 minutes of his time, i was still not quite convinced that i should part with my RM5, but upon noticing how he was perched precariously on his intertwined feet, i decided that i would just cut back on the Sunday collection...for about 5 weeks :) Ah...my good deed for the day!

as i was getting wrapped up in my thoughts about me again, i notice in the distance...well at the next table anyway, a lone Chinese man waving at me. i turn to ascertain that i am not the pig in the middle, and find that i am indeed the recepient of this wave. Then suddenly he starts pointing at the crumpled, old magazine that he has clutched with his dirty fingers and calls out for me to buy it. i must look like a sucker! he wants me to pay him RM10 for an out-of-date, dissheveled, disgusting magazine...which i had never ever read in my life! he must have noticed the incredulous look i had on for he decided to charm me into buying it using the Beggar Tactic 001 - Name every priest you spoke to and every person who may have connection with potential doner. And so i sat and listened as every Eurasian surname and every Catholic priest within tha Klang Valley was ticked off on his dirty hands. it dawned on me then that the only way to escape was to once again part with hard earned cash. this time though i peered around cautiously making sure that there were no opportunists around. as i stand to leave he throws a number at me "3918...thank you sister, give you lucky number! 3918 go buy Toto!"...

Hmmm...

THE NEVERENDING STORY

THE NEVERENDING STORY

It was a beautiful night until…
She gave in to herself
Now she reaps what she has sown
And ponders the worth of it…

She remembers a time when she gave her all
And lost herself
And knows she has come a long way…
She has nothing left to give
Now she only takes

Searching for what was lost
An illusion or enlightenment?
She does not know
She cannot find her way there again
The road seems too rough…

Cowardice or practicality
Frigidity or strength
Incapacity for emotion or just numb to the perpetual accusations

Abuse, the result of mistaken honesty
She turns him away
But still he persists
The ringing never ceases
She blocks the unrelenting noise from her firmament of thought
How has she become so cold?

“You fucking pariah! You stupid bitch!
Are you a whore?
If you do not answer your phone, I’ll come over to your house…
I’ll break down your door!”

”Are you stupid!
Answer me? Are you stupid?
You self-centered, arrogant, cold bitch
What the hell is wrong with you!
Fuck religion!”

How did it get so ugly?
Why did it get so dark?
And when did she learn to accept this?
That pierces her cold and guarded heart…

Of cats & men

After listening to him air his dirty laundry in public and deliver his incredibly stupid sermon entitled 'why men just need bimbos', i decided that i would not get angry for anyone who could disgrace themselves with such pronouncements,was certainly not in a state of mind to be reckoned with.

He sat with huge, sad eyes and as usual my instinct to cheer him up took over. It seemed though that no amount of cheering was working. i could have talked all night, smiled until my mouth bled or teared for his sadness until my pupils were dry...there was no way that his frown and pulsing vein on his forehead could subside...then suddenly he lets out a loud yelp, he is smiling...and now laughing...it is his favourite pussy...what the!

'oh, you know how to cheer me up...she always knows when i am upset!' he gushes petting the cat as though he were being paid RM100/hour for doing so. Get a grip man!

THE ROSE & THE CACTUS

Upon a painted window sill
Stood close together, yet far apart
Like the floating people and Noah's ark
which once was spoken about in jest
Till all was gone but the sign of a quest
the royal red rose of love
whose gentle petals
shamed the dove
and the simple cactus in a pot of blue
whose 'pricklies' smiled where the sun shone through...

Then one bright day it did occur
that a journey to some far off land
would take the two to a world of sand
the rose sang of her supreme grace
yet did not at all comprehend her place
the cactus in complacence knew
That the boastful rose would get her due
and as the days stretched far and long
Emptiness was the rose's song...

And in the brilliance of the sun
Did the cactus flourish wild
Like a daydream of a child
Yet he could not in good conscience stand,
To see the withered rose in the sand
So out of his clear blue heart
he did with profound kindness start
'O fairest flower bend o'er to me
And drink til thy parched throat is free
To own with the fervour of the Indian cree
I am no greater than thee'

REALITY & DREAMS

i run asthough i have no feet
as strong and swift as i can go
the darkness engulfs my heart complete
i am helpless in this world, i know
but the silver moon sleeps way above
with the stars still shining bright
as they gently light my path towards
the clearing far in sight
but if i can just make it
i'm sure that i'll be glad
for now i am stuck here
in this complex world of feelings all gone mad
i can no longer feel pure love
nor can i feel hate or hope
for even as i run to reach the peak
i slip and slide down the slope
but before my feet touch security
my form is swept by a tide
of emotional insecurity
i want to run and hide
but then i am propelled towards
a golden scintilla of light
and then in silence learn the truth,
that lies on the other side,
i smile and bless the morning sun
and remember the day before,
of sadness, jealousy and how it stung,
my heart and eyes both sore
but i smile just knowing that
my life is not a dream
that having feelings that are real and sure
is much better than it may seem...

LOST

I screwed up twice over…
Am I really that way
Two against one…
Look in the mirror they say

When it should be black or white
I make it grey

When I could do it now
I wait to the end of the day

When I know the correct answer
I give the suicidal one

When all I love is right before me
All i want to do is run

Indecision and selfishness
Are my companions these days

When I should hate, I don’t
When I love, it’s not enough

I should have known that I would be on the outside one day
Your fraternity makes me sick, but it’s the price I have to pay

Still I don’t understand his betrayal
Has fate dealt her blow?
The way I cast you off, has me now locked outside his door

Some things irreparable
Once my best friend, now my enemy
Once my lover…now it is not just up to me

Orphaned
Home has changed forever